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How To Build Self-Esteem In Our Children

What do we tell our children?

In our rush and busyness, we often comment more about what our children don't do, than what they actually do. Most of our homes have basic rules such as putting your dirty plate in the sin, hanging up your wet towl, putting your dirt clothes in the washbasket and pulling out the plug when you are finished bathing. So, when our children don't do these things, we are very quick to correct them.

What do our children hear?

Our children hear us constantly reminding them of what they don't do, or what they do wrong. They feel we don't notice what they do.

This is obviously not our intention but this is how it is interpreted by our children.

What should we do?

1) Let's begin to comment on what our children have been doing. Recognise when they do what they should be doing, and not just what they don't do.


2) Let's then add a positive word that they can begin to identify with and that will be internalised as a strength.

eg: Thank you for putting your dirty dishes in the sink. You are always so helpful'

This makes a child feel that their behaviour was noticed. The positive words will inspire them to repeat the behaviour while at the same time build them as a person.


Imagine growing up knowing that you are helpful, kind and thoughtful because you have been told this throughout your childhood. It will boost your self-esteem as you will clearly know your strengths. 

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